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Marnie

God Hates Noobs Too!

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God Hates Noobs Too!

I was thinking to myself why I shy away from low level players. After all, I’ve been a noob, not once but two times. So I got to thinking ...

SKILLING:

I am minding my own business, making pots at GE ...

Noob: “Marine”

(.01 seconds later)

Noob: “Marnie!”

(.05 seconds later)

Noob: “[email protected][email protected][email protected][email protected]!”

(now following me)

Me: “?”

Noob: ” How do I train woodcutting?”

Me: “Just swing a hatchet against a tree?”

Noob: “No, like what is the best way”

(When I am feeling more patient than usual, because it is rare that I wouldn’t just ignore at this point)

Me: “Start with the highest level tree that your level will allow until you can chop ivy. Then camp at ivy with a rabbit’s foot and full lumberjack till you’re 99.” “This is an afk skill, so watch tv or youtube while you do it.”

Noob: “What’s a rabbit’s foot?”

(Gritting teeth)

Me: “It’s an amulet that gives you the chance of getting more nests”

Noob: “What are nests for?”

(Sigh)

Me: “Herblore”

Noob: “Well what do they do?”

(Out of patience now)

Me: “Sara brews, look it up?”

Two minutes later ....

Noob: “Oh, well I am only 34 herblore, I can’t make those”

Me: “Well the nests are worth selling”

Noob: “It won’t let me trade them”

Me: “Crush them with a pestle and mortar”

(5 minutes of watching Noob run around GE yelling: "Need Pestal!"

Noob: “What is that lumberjack you told me about?”

Me: “It’s from the mini game, Temple Trecking”

Noob: “Oh, what do you do?”

(Opens bottle of wine)

Me: “Plz look it up, I am busy”

(3 minutes of peace ...)

Noob: “Fk that ... can I “barrow” your dragon hatchet?”

(Fills second glass of wine)

Me: “How long do you want it?”

Noob: “Well I want 99, and I am 41 woodcutting now, how long will it take?”

(No reply, but adjusts lend to 24 hours)

Me: “Ok, have fun” (gets ready to tele)

Noob: “Wait! Can you show me where to cut willows?”

(Thinking: I can show you where to cut your wrists)

Me: “Just go to Catherby”

Noob: “Ok, ty”

(Fourteen minutes later. I see Noob back at the GE)

Noob: “Marine you still here? What are you doing?”

Me: “Herblore, how goes the woodcutting?”

Noob: “It’s boring, can you teach me how to farm?”

(Throws empty wine bottle at the cat, turns public chat to off)

Once I felt Generous ...

I dropped some rune items around GE. After the noobs scattered to grab them .....

Noob #1: Are you rich?

Noob #2: Can you give me something good, I was hacked?

Noob #3: Wow you’re cool, are you gonna drop more?

Noob #4: I didn’t get anything, can you give me 1m?

Noob #2: Please just answer, yes or no?

Noob #1: How do you make money?

Noob #3: Can you add me?

Noob #4: I NEED MONEY!

(Log out, world hop)

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Theres this features at the bottom, its call public chat and it has this friends option

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Theres this features at the bottom, its call public chat and it has this friends option

I didn't want to tell them that the Noob's char name was Pesty, sorry

Edited by Marnie
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Noob: “Marine”

(.01 seconds later)

Noob: “Marnie!”

(.05 seconds later)

Noob: “[email protected][email protected][email protected][email protected]!”

(now following me)

Lol, after that is normally when I log out.

Noob: ” How do I train woodcutting?”

Me: “Just swing a hatchet against a tree?”

Noob: “No, like what is the best way”

For that I usually tell the peasant that his lack of initiative will get him into nowhere in life.

But great story, Marnie(: Keep up the WIP.

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Bumped for my new clan mates.

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This was awesome and I think we can all relate. I had a good laugh thanks lol.

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Haha, this was a good read Marnie :)

I have a friend who is the same way. He asks questions every minute though, I've timed...

It's funny because I iggied him 2 months ago, and recently he found me and asked me why I wasn't online playing so much anymore. I didn't have the heart to put him back on the ignore list ^-^

I'll take him as my apprentice...

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this is why i most likely just ignore the newbs ;p they will figure out how to play the game one day XD if not they just cant handle the game haha

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