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Marnie

Yes, I drink too much alcohol ...

15 posts in this topic

Do I drink too much alcohol? You bet I do and here is an example of the reason. What follows is the first hour of my typical work day. Welcome to my life ...

Today started as any weekday. The alarm goes off, not the digital beside my bed, but the one in my bladder that wakes me approximately 45 minutes before my anticipated wake up time, robbing me of the extra sleep. I can try to fall back asleep in this uncomfortable state while watching the minutes tick by but give up and stumble towards the bathroom.

Lifting the toilet seat lid I spy yellow droplets left by my dear son. Today I am a winner, because I noticed before sitting down in them. I reach for toilet paper and of course the roll is empty because my son, who probably just went to bed moments ago can master every computer game, but has not yet figured out the complicated procedure of changing a roll of toilet paper. Now in the shower, warm water pounding down waking me up, I reach for the bar of hair-covered soap (yes you guessed it, thanks again Jeff). Suddenly the water turns boiling hot and I stub my toe as I jump out of the spray. The tenants upstairs must have flushed.

Showered, teeth brushed and dressed, I sit at my computer with fresh coffee at hand, I first check my new emails:
[1] Local hot sluts
[2] Viagra, discount pharmaceuticals
[3] Princess Charman requests assistance, $3 million dollar transfer will be deposited to my account
[4] Hi mom, got a tattoo, now I am short on rent money, please help ... blah, blah, most likely not pregnant, blah, swollen, itchy rash, blah, blah ... (sigh)

Delete, delete, delete, onto Skillers United forums, big surprise, there is no new content except for the video in the shout box that should have Kyle in a rage. I smile and grab my coffee, take a sip and my mouth fills with grinds. Great the filter must have fallen in again. Spitting the grit back into the mug, I put it aside. No time to make a new pot, I will grab some when I get to work.

Heading out the door, bag lunch and purse in hand, I debate my umbrella and decide it looks decent enough outside from my half second glance out the window. Mid-way to work what was only a dreary day turns into a torrential downpour and I am soaked by the time I arrive. Wet, white capris pants and bright pink panties were a bad idea. Heading to the washroom, I stand at the warm air hand drying machine and blow the smell of feces into my dripping hair in an attempt to look human. Adjusting the metal nozzle to aim the jet of air at my crotch and backside gives me many odd looks and a singed finger. Giving up I head to my desk, greeted by my boss who is looking at the toilet paper that I am trailing that has attached itself to my wet shoe. Yes, I am a professional. My co-worker stops by to tell me the cafeteria is closed until 9am this morning due to renovations. My work day starts at 7:30am, lovely. She then leans in and whispers that I have black stuff in between my teeth. Ah yes coffee grinds, well they will have to hold me over until the cafeteria opens I suppose.

I have been awake for one hour, if one more work colleague greets me with a "Good morning, how are you?" all hell will break loose. Do I drink too much? Hell yes! The 8-hour countdown starts now.

Edited by Marnie
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Dammit, meant to post in Off Topic ... oh well, fuck it !!!

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good morning how are you

Edited by Jumper
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good morning how are you

Don't make me wash your mouth out with soap

6c5a530b8e.jpg

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good morning how are you

Don't make me wash your mouth out with soap

6c5a530b8e.jpg

ewwwwwwwwwwww

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she said she drinks to much, she didnt say she has a problem.

The problem only starts when booze runs out

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Marnie, here's a new wine for you to sample:

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Lol, I need some deep corking!

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Just read this again while at work and I started cracking up. I got some weird looks. We need a new one of these Marnie.

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